Semi-Selfish Lamentations

So much seems so hard
Because everything was so easy
And there seems to be no one
When for so long there was everyone

So many days
Weeks
Months
Where so much was up
Makes the downfall
So damned far

And I just don't understand
What changed
Or how it's different
But it is
Don't tell me it isn't

So many questions
With no answers
And none of it is fair
Not for me
But mostly not for her
Not for them

How can I possibly think
Life is hard for me
When I glance at perspective
I know my struggles are petty

I don't mean to be insensitive
My heart aches for her loss
So many of my tears are hers

But it doesn't make the
Loneliness
Less bleak

I still wish someone would listen to me bitch
Without telling me my skin is too thin
Or that my feelings are insignificant
That there was someone who would let me cry
Until I could cry myself out of this funk
And then answer the questions
That have no answers
With exactly what I want to hear